Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Randomize
