toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
