Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You made out with two different species that night
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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