Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
