sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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