After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
