literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
