I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
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Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Watching her eat just hurts me
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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