If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
