Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
