Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
