I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
