i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Randomize
