Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
