so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
