All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
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