people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
