sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
