we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
farters have to be the big spoon...
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
