just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
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