Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
