She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
