This is not my ceiling
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
