I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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