how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
