I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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