woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
