Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
love makes seman taste better
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
