So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
