is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
