Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
