I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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