we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
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