I'm so fucking centered right now
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize