Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
