it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
