Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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