You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
