I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
