just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
