The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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