dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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