i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
