I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize
