you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
