Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
