And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
how do flat chested girls get laid?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
