My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
