I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Randomize
