I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I cut my penus on the lid.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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