he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Barsexuality is the new black.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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