Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Randomize
