Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
