On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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