you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
