Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
