Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
