one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
