...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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