Yo dont text me then not text me
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Randomize
