party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
