theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
