My Higher Power is John Stamos
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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