i think my mom watched the whole time
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
