Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
