she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
