im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
