The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize