i don't like sucking hair
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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