I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
