You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
