mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
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