new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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